Singa-merica

Different parts of the world are looking increasingly like each other. McDonald’s and Coca-Cola have global reach, thanks to globalisation, and Hollywood kitsch is freely available even in Mongolian street markets. ‘Coca-colonisation’, a term coined to highlight the widespread consumption of Coca-Cola in all countries, has in recent years been taken to represent the increasingly homogeneous cultures globally, a cultural-connectedness, a result of the influx of cultures, particularly those of the West into the developing world.

Media products do not differ from this global phenomenum. The global trade in television programming is by far, one of the biggest and fastest media businesses that is still, at present, expanding. The U.S., yet again, is the big player in the industry – taking on a two prong approach within the local and international realms in order to globalise it’s media products.

The theory of cultural imperialism explains how dominance of western media products specifically from the United States composed some sort of cultural imperialism. American products have made up to 40 percent of the European film market and nearly a quarter of the TV market, whereas the US media corporations also control 60 percent of the film distribution networks in Europe.

In the context of Singapore’s society, the dominance of U.S. media products within our media networks is astounding. Step into any bookstore or even convenience shop in Singapore, you’d find several U.S. magazine publications. Be it ‘Harper’s Bazaar’ or the renown ‘Time’ magazine, these U.S. publications will be in the midst of our own local publications. This is especially evident in our local Starhub Digital Cable network where U.S. media television channels and programmes such as HBO and Cinemax are extremely popular.

Moreover, live U.S. radio podcasts are available on programs such as iTunes, allowing access to live radio streaming from the U.S. whereever you are in the world. That is to say, we have unlimited access to both music and news streaming.

As globalisation of the mass media progresses and the dominance of foreign countries within our local sphere gets even more prominent, the distinct local identity in which Singapore has forged for herself along the years fades each day. It seems that the U.S. has taken the media industry by storm and with the great increasing demand among the locals, there is not a thing that a tiny nation like Singapore can do about it. The very fact that our culture needs to be actively preserved suggests, perhaps, an increasing threat of homogeneity within Singapore.

We choose to watch U.S. sitcoms such as ‘How I met your Mother’ instead of local productions such as ‘Phua Chu Kang’. We even come to adopt some of the slang used by characters in the show. This is pretty prevalent within the teenage sector in Singapore society today. Teenage girls choose to read U.S. publication, ‘Nylon’, a magazine covering topics on pop culture and fashion, instead of local Singapore Press Holding’s ‘Seventeen’ magazine. Even local radio station 987fm features a popular U.S. segment within its weekly programme, where the top music hits in the U.S. are uncovered in a countdown.

Are we diminishing as a country? Do we even have our own culture anymore? The lines which separate the two realms of Asian and U.S. culture get blurer each day, and my worst fear is that one fine day, our heritage and identity might just disappear altogether.

My dear reader, what is your take?

The other side of Singapore’s society

“Singapore is a cosmopolitan society where people live harmoniously and interaction among different races are commonly seen…” I cannot tell you how many times I have opened a magazine, or textbook, or even an Internet webpage, to have something along those lines when it comes to talking about Singapore’s culture.

Yes, after living for 19 years in Singapore, I do realize that we are indeed a happy and peaceful multiracial nation. I have to admit, that itself is a huge achievement when you compare it to the racial discrimination that is prevalent in pretty much the rest of the world. So kudos to you, Singapore.

However, my dear reader, behind the facade of a harmonious city, it is certainly no secret that beneath our clean and shiny exterior, lies a more inherent and ominous society. We live among them, we see them on the streets, and we may or may not interact with them. They walk tall among us, communicating with their own jargon and proudly adorning the attire of their trait. They are the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians.

The stereotypical view of an Ah Beng is a young Chinese man or teenager who lacks cultural refinement or indulges in criminal activity or is involved in brawls or arguments out of disagreements with other people. According to Wikipedia legitimate(yes the term seems to be a legitimate one), the term ‘Ah Beng’ is also normally used to describe gangster wannabes who cannot speak fluent English and have very low education.

Rigid definitions aside, let’s just be honest for a second. Below is a list that I found online of what it takes in order to fit into their intimate circle. Credits to Cheryl Chia and Adeline Loh.(http://singapore.thinkexpats.com/places/67-uniquely-singapore/108-how-to-get-that-ah-beng-and-ah-lian-look.html)

Where to find them: Far East Plaza, Neoprint booths, squatting outside a heartland mall, arcades, dodgey-looking pool parlors.

 

Ah Lian

The Hair:

Straight is good. Remember to go for regular rebonding sessions to ensure your hair looks ‘sleek’ and “chio”. Increase your “kawaii” (cute) factor by adding all sorts of rainbow colored clips to your hair.

The Make-up:

The more the merrier, pile on the foundation and candy pink blush. Put on some bright red lipstick and maybe some blue or green eye shadow to dazzle your beau.

The Clothes:

The more outlandish the better. Contrast is good. Make sure the colors clash. That’s how you stand out. The shorter the skirt or shorts, the better – flaunt your legs, skinny or flabby. Make sure your tops have enough frills or lace to look ‘dainty’ Let the straps of your black bra peek out, it’s said to be fashionable.
Ah Beng

The Hair:

The Ah Beng’s crowning glory calls for regular maintenance. A regular dye job is paramount – go for golds, reds or blue if you want. Try to keep a long fringe (below eye level) – it’s very useful to flip when trying to look cool or you can go for the act cute look by accessorizing with a hair band.

The Car:

One word – modified. Ah Beng cars are designed to siam (escape) as fast as possible from the police but gain the greatest amount of attention while doing so (including slamming into the nearest road curb). To have your car looking real “swee” (pretty), choose an outstanding color, like white or red, then fit it with modified bumpers and neon speed meters. Install a flashing antenna that can flash lights in sync to the beat of “Aiyee, aiyee, ai, I’m your little butterfly” or whatever song that’s playing on your super loud stereo system.

The Clothing:

Save money to buy some “blanded”(branded) clothing from Armani and JPG. Or else, stock up clothing in every fluorescent color you can find, especially if they’re tight and have dragons printed on them. If you want more pattern, try sleeveless shirts with zips in front so you can pull the zip down to create different effects.

Though albeit ruthless, in my opinion, the descriptions do appear accurate. I’m not going to sugarcoat the truth and the truth is: Ah Bengs and Ah Lians are constantly and will always be stereotyped and prejudiced against in Singapore’s society.

We refuse to be associated with them, and people who do, in fact, belong to the group, tend to be in denial about it. Truth is, the group is considered as “lower-class” and “uncouth” within Singapore’s conservative and law-abiding society. We find ourselves moving away from them when we see them in the trains, we avoid eye contact with them and yet at the same time, we are unable to tear our eyes away from them. Our grandparents and parents worst fears revolve around us turning into one of them.

 

On 1^st August 2010, an anonymous writer posted an article on Stomp (http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/what_bugs_me/423668/antiah_beng_and_ah_lian_blog_ridicules.html) with the header: “Anti-ah beng and ah lian blog ridicules young teens with insulting remarks”.

The content of which includes:

The two-month-old blog features pictures of young teenagers posing. In each post, the author points out why she thinks they are ugly or trying too hard.

Some of the comments made by the blog owner include:

“She is the ugliest girl I have ever seen. F*** her”.

In the introductory post, the author also writes:

“Most Singaporean ah lians blog, showing and telling people what their daily lives are about. Don’t you all see it?

The AABAL team is pointing out that what they usually do is a waste of their time and also bring shame to the country. They are trash to the society, which means that they ARE useless people.

All ah lians do is slack with their group of friends and then they start smoking, have boyfriends, drinking, take drugs, club and lastly, gave away their virginity to useless ah bengs.

Then they get pregnant or get dumped after those ah bengs have their desires met (f*** and throw).

And what are piercings about? They’re just holes all over your face and body parts. What does THAT seem to be? Ah bengs and ah lians suck.”
—

With regards to the blogpost in question, I’m not exactly the biggest fan of Ah bengs and Ah lians, but there is such a thing as going a tad overboard. There is a fine line separating one from being judgmental and carrying out ethnocentrism. Just like how we shouldn’t define someone from their appearance, we have no right to slam and diss an individual based on their group identity. Correction – that is – IF they are even part of a gang that is involved in fights and creating havoc. To me, I admit that I do use the term ‘Ah Lian’ and ‘Ah Beng’ rather loosely. Whether it is when I see a particular individual donning a certain clothing or when a group of teenagers are creating a ruckus outside a heartland mall. I think what Singaporeans have to work on is differentiating an ‘Ah Lian’ or ‘Ah Beng’ from actual gangsters.

So, my dear reader, what exactly is your stand? Are ‘Ah Lians’ and ‘Ah Bengs’ in fact, actual gangsters? Should they be shunned from society? Why do we even fear them?

Ethnocentrism: the aftermath of 9/11

Islamophobia is a term that suggests a prejudice against, or an irrational fear of Islam or Muslims. Coined in the late 1980s, the term came into common usage after the September 11, 2001 attacks in the United States. There is little doubt that anti-Muslim and anti-Arab sentiments in the US have intensified since then.

Four years after the terrorist attacks on 9/11, an ABC poll found that the number of respondents who believe that mainstaem Islam encourages violence increased from 14% to 34%. Almost four in 10 Americans have an unfavorable view of Islam, and 46% believe that Islam is more likely than other religions to encourage violence among its believers.

Recently, Renee Ellmers, a North Carolina Republican running for congress, commented on her advertisement regarding the setting up of a mosque by ground zero.

The ad is focused on the planned Islamic cultural center a few blocks from the former site of the World Trade Center.

You can watch the ad here:

Ellmers strongly stood her ground that she disagreed with the notion totally, and even used the terms “Muslim” and “terrorists” interchangeably. “The terrorists haven’t won, and we should tell them in plain English that no, there will never be a mosque at ground zero.”

In the interview with Anderson Cooper, CNN host, Ellmers was questioned on her conflation of Muslims and terrorists.

Cooper: “But the people building the Islamic Centre are not terrorists.”

Ellmers: “How do you know that, sir? How do you know that they are not terrorists?”

You can actually watch the interview(that turned into a rather intense debate) that took place below:

 

Fact is: ethnocentrism has taken a toll on the US. Due to the actions and wrongdoings of a single group, anyone who withholds the identity of a Muslim is, more often than not, deemed as a terrorist. Sometimes, even sharing the same skin tone is sufficient enough to be classified under the same category. People are taking the criminals of this community and superimposing their image on every other member, including children. Every other Muslim is “just another Osama bin Laden”.

Muslim children in the US are punished with constant bullying and subjected to name-calling such as: “Terrorist”, “Osama”, “America-hater”.

“He had started to have nightmares again. And he didn’t want to be Muslim anymore. He wanted to change his name, he wanted to stop praying, he wanted his parents to stop fasting during Ramadan.” A comment made by a Muslim mother residing with her husband and her 10-year old son in the US.

Upon doing all my research and gathering information from various sources for this particular topic, I could not help but cringe each time I read, or watched about how Muslims are discriminated and prejudiced against as a result of the 9/11 attacks. I am not sure if it is because I was not directly impacted by the tragedy, but I do feel sympathetic towards these Muslims. Why should people who obviously were and are not involved in such terrorist activities be punished for the deeds of one particular group which happened to share the same cultural identity as them? Why should they be the ones that suffer?

This prejudice has signs of continuing and being passed on to generation after generation. I would not be surprised that in time to come, it becomes a perfectly acceptable social norm to discriminate and be wary of all Muslims around the world. I may be exaggerating abit here, but you get the picture.

 

What has become of our humanity? Have we become void of all empathy and unity?

 

Interpersonal relationships – what makes us attracted to people?

Have you ever wondered: When it comes to intimate interpersonal relationships – something so close to our hearts, why do we sometimes find ourselves attracted to copies of ourselves or conversely, the exact opposites of ourselves?

With regards to relational formation and development, it has been suggested that people are attracted to various groups of people according to their own personal needs. Categories have been formulated to explain attraction: Physical appearance, similarity, dissimilarities, exchange, proximity, reciprocity and liking, competency as well as the filtering theory(Duck,1973).

However, there are three factors that I find more prevalent in today’s society and thus will specifically elaborate on them.

1) Physical appearance

We can lie, protest and diss people about it, but as much as we would like to deny to having any kind of superficial trait that we might possess within us, there is no question about it – Physical appearance has the biggest impact during the initial stages of a relationship. However, naturally, this will diminish over the course of the relationship as other factors come into play. Physical beauty is subjective and judgements of it are normally based on social and cultural norms. Also, what one may perceive to be attractive now may drastically change over time.

According to published book author and writer, Susan S. Davis, the types of relationships predicted upon physical appearance are generally focused on fulfilling physical, rather than romantic or emotional needs. While it is all fine and good that people have an outlet for their sexual urges, many criticisms can be made of these types of relationships, since a lack of emotion can leave one feeling abandoned, and worse off than if they’d had no involvement at all.

The cruel reality of it all is that eventually, beauty fades. It’ll then be up to our personalities to carry the weight. With that in mind, if we spend half our lives cultivating good looks and being so self-absorbed, this might seem a tad harsh but I’m not sure if one has much of a personality left.

2) Similarity

Birds of a feather flock together. This is when we have the tendency to be attracted to those whom we perceive to have a similar focus in life. It has been said that in order to sustain a long-term relationship, similarity is an integral condition. If you were to make a list of their partner’s predominant personality traits, you would discover a lot of similarities, including, surprisingly, their negative traits. Couples who possess the same dominant function in their personalities seem to have longest and happiest relationships. Similar qualities reduces our uncertainties about others, reduces the associated risks in the relationship and also serves as a form of social validation. Of course, that does not mean that people with different preferences are unable to have a happy, successful marriage. It simply indicates that people frequently settle down with individuals who are on the same “wavelength” as them.

Angelina Jolie’s whirlwind romance with Brad Pitt is perhaps one of the most controversial and eagerly devoured celebrity love stories of our times. Also, their relationship is perhaps, a classic example of how a similar focus or ideals can bring two individuals together.

Two of the things that are said to have brought Brad and Angelina together are the couple’s love for children and their common passion for charity work. Not only are both actively involved in community service and charity work, Brad’s relationship with Angelina also meant that he saw his dream of becoming a parent come true, something that he and his previous wife, Jennifer Anniston, did not see eye to eye on. Moreover, despite a lot of negative prognostics under the media’s intense scrutiny, Brad and Angelina are still going strong, raising their children, dealing with their acting careers and doing charity work around the world, and being the embodiment of the very best a contemporary high-profile love story can offer.

3) Dissimilarities

The old concept and expression “opposites attract” has been batted around for centuries. We are naturally attracted to individuals who are different from ourselves – and therefore somewhat exciting. Yet, that is not to say that it is simply the exciting differences which attract us to our opposites, it is also a natural quest for completion. Complementary differences can sustain a relationship as they function better together than separately, we are naturally drawn towards individuals who have strengths which we are missing. When two opposites function as a couple, they become a more well-rounded, functioning unit. There is also the theory that our natural attraction to our opposites acts as a subconscious way of forcing us to deal with the weaker aspects of our own nature. Two opposites involved in an intimate relationship do have significant issues and communication barriers to overcome. In a sense, it can be seen as our subconscious minds driving us towards becoming a more complete individual by causing us to face the areas in life which are most difficult for us.

So dear reader, out of the three factors that I touched on, which is the one that you find yourself most applicable towards? On a personal basis, I find myself more attracted to birds of the same feather. I rely heavily on predictability and familiarity. Now, if only I could find the right bird.

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” – Peter F. Drucker

The importance of being… nonverbally-smart.

Many people do not realise that almost every facet of our personality is revealed through our appearance, body language, gestures, facial expressions, demeanor, posture and movements.
Verbal impact of communication only accounts for 7% of your overall message. Bulk of communication comes across in our appearance and body language, comprising 55%. Tone, speed and inflection of our voice make up the remaining 38%.

Thus, nonverbal communication serves as the single most powerful form of communication. The best communicators are sensitive to the power of emotions and thoughts communicated nonverbally.

In my opinion, the importance of verbal versus non-verbal communication can be illustrated with regards to sitting for a job interview. Here, candidates can tend to be based hugely on their non-verbal communication where much can be revealed more than one’s spoken words. Employers actually rely on such communication cues to gain an insight into one’s attitude, outlook, interests, attitude and approach. Positive non-verbal cues are most crucial here. This includes:

1. Maintaing good eye contact with the interviewer for a few seconds at a time.
2. Smiling and nodding at appropriate times when the interviewer is talking.
3. Keeping your feet on the floor and your back against the lower back of the chair.
4. Leaning forward a little towards the interviewer so you appear interested and engaged.

One’s dressing also plays a vital part in how listeners receive you and how others respond to you. Imagine if someone walked into the room for a job interview wearing this:

You get the idea.

Dressing appropriately in formal attire allows the interviewer know that you take the interview process seriously. Of course, your verbal communication is important as well. It is your non-verbal cues that enable you to be singled out from the rest.

Not only is it important for us to be aware of our own body language, but it is equally important to understand what body language means so we can effectively assess and react to others. For example, we may pass negative judgment on someone because they slouch, fidget or pout. If we are aware of why we made the judgment, we can filter out our biases and understand what their body language means and what it is conveying about the individual.

I conducted abit of research and found some non-verbal cues which meanings differ across different cultures.

It is important that we pick up the different meanings from these otherwise casually-used gestures and become more aware of ourselves and the kind of messages it conveys to people of other cultures.

Facial expressions:

– Although smiling is an expression of happiness in most cultures, it can also signify other emotions. Some Chinese, for example may smile when they are discussing something sad or uncomfortable.

– Winking has very different connotations in different cultures. In some Latin American cultures, winking is a romantic or sexual invitation. In Nigeria, Yorubas may wink at their children if they want them to leave the room. Many Chinese consider winking to be rude.

Hand and arm gestures:

– The “thumbs-up” gesture has a vulgar connotation in Iran.

– In Colombia, tapping the underside of the elbow with the fingers of the other hand suggests that someone is stingy.

Personal space:

– In some Muslim cultures, a woman may be alarmed if a man, even a male physician, stands or sits too close to her.

Eye contact:

– Making direct eye contact is a sign of disrespect in some cultures. In other cultures, refusing to make direct eye contact is a sign of disrespect. Many Asians may be reluctant to make eye contact with an authority figure. For example, when greeting a Chinese, it is best to avoid prolonged eye contact as a sign of respect and deference.

Have you ever made an inappropriate gesture without realising it until much later(when it was obviously too late)? I know I have done my fair share.

References:

http://erc.msh.org/mainpage.cfm?file=4.6.0.htm&module=provider&language=english

Drunk driving = A choice.

I cannot emphasize the number of times I have heard my parents, relatives and teachers harp on this: Don’t drink and drive. I remember quite vividly an advertisement that was aired quite frequently a few years back in Singapore theaters before the start of a movie. Fortunately, i was able to track it down on Youtube.

Ring any bells? It actually kinda should.

Anyway, I managed to find another video on the topic as well.

In any case, what brought my attention to this topic was when I came across an article via a newsfeed on BBC News. Published on the BBC News website on 17th September 2010, it reported that on 1 January 2010, Jamie Dolan, 17, caused the death of Caroline Cumming, 24, due to drink driving. Cumming’s boyfriend, Scott Ramsay, 23, was left with serious injuries.

Driving at 60mph in a 30mph zone, Dolan was two and a half times the drink drive limit at the time of the crash. Being a minor, the 17 year-old was sentenced to seven years of detention and is banned from driving for the next 15 years. What striked a cord in me was a particular sentence judge Lady Smith said during Dolan’s sentence.

“No sentence that I pronounce can restore Caroline Cumming’s life or reverse the physical and emotional effects on Scott Ramsay of this terrible incident.”

Whatever the case, drink driving and the consequences that follow is a non-compoundable offense. It is something that you cannot reverse or take back. For a first time offender, the penalty in Singapore is that you will be fine up to $5000 or 6 months imprisonment and your license revoked. With tougher laws on drink driving, you can expect the worst. Offenders causing death or serious injuries can also be caned up to 6 strokes.

Figuring out how anyone can actually drink and drive is beyond me. In my opinion, the rationale is simple: When you drink, the least you can do it take responsibility for your actions and not get behind the wheel at any costs.
Think about it, how many times when you are at a party have you heard, “I’m so smashed but never mind la, my house is so near. Still can drive back.” Or even better, “Eh do you want a lift home anot?” when the person has clearly consumed way too much alcohol for the likes of driving. Does it not appear extremely stupid to endanger not only your own life but the life of others as well? To be objective, ok, the person may be well within the range of the drink drive limit despite guzzling down a beer or two but there is a reason why alcohol is defined as a psychoactive drug that has a depressant effect. When taken in large quantities, it is known to reduce attention and slow reaction speed. Now, does that sound like the perfect circumstance to get behind the wheel? It really does not take a genius to figure out the mechanisms of smart driving.

In all honesty, should innocent people get caught in the wreckage of drink driving, the biggest punishment for the offender is living with the fact that he or she has taken away the life of another and causing much pain and suffering to others.

You may never have drove intoxicated, but have you been in the car with people who were drunk at the wheel? Imagine being in a car that is moving at speeds way over the intended limit, weaving over the yellow lines meant to keep you in your lane while the driver is laughing and talking to the passengers, barely paying attention to the road. If you find this scenario familiar, the sad news is that you had played a role just as bad as being the drunk driver himself. Keeping quiet is the worst possible thing to do. Yes, accidents may not necessarily have happened at the time but imagine if one day, you do find yourself in one. Luck is not a given but a fortunate occurrence. Statistics will back me up on this. We all are not guaranteed the same amount of mistakes in life, some people can get away with something for years while another person can make a mistake only once and it can ruin their lives and so many lives around them.

So, how many of us can seriously confess to have never played a part in someone else’s act of drunk driving?

Sarong Party Girl

I first heard of the term ‘Sarong Party Girl’ aka ‘SPG’ a couple of years back. Word had gotten around that a certain Singaporean teenage girl, was publicly splashing pictures of her body and all it’s naked glory all over the cyber world. The scene of the crime – http://www.sarongpartygirl.blogspot.com. The contents of her blog site included the politics of sexuality and religion. Needless to say, the whole controversy did not go down so well with our oh-so-conservative Singapore culture and was frowned upon.

According to Wikipedia, SPG depicts the picture of “a local, solely Asian woman (e.g., a Chinese or Malay girl) who usually dresses and behaves in a provocative manner, and who exclusively dates and prefers white men”. Coined in Singapore during the time of colonial rule, the term has taken on its more colourful meaning over time. It is now more widely known as a derogatory term to address “gold-digging, husband-snatching Asian sirens”.

In this month(September)’s issue of local Her World magazine, a piece was covered by Zarelda Marie Goh with the byline – “Quit judging local women who date white men”. Goh was initially stirred up by a generalisation made by The New Paper where the reigning 22 year-old Miss Singapore Universe, Tania Lim, was labelled with the unfavourable term just because she has a British boyfriend. SPG was, in the article, defined as “a local woman who dates Caucasian men”. As a result, Goh – provoked and fueled by her own defences – went into a slight frenzy as she dived into the issue.

In her article, her stance was that the whole terminology that is currently associated with SPG comes across as most offensive and “passe because of the global age we live in”. Goh stresses on the need for the population to cease their stereotyping of Asian women who, have no hidden agendas, are involved with Caucasian men. Goh even went so far as to openly share her own personal experiences with her readers and her past relationships with non-Asians. “I’ve dated several white guys – my last long-term relationship was with an American professor – and I certainly don’t think I’m an SPG.” She does touch on the fact that “there probably are women who revere white men” but yet substantiates her reasoning with “It doesn’t help that there are white men who develop a bad case of yellow fever and think they can get into any local girl’s pants”. That being said, Goh ends on a firm note that values such as trust and commitment have nothing to do with race.

Frankly speaking, up till now, whenever I chance upon a young Asian women latched onto the arm of a slightly older Caucasian male, I am ashamed to admit – the term ‘SPG’ does evidently, cross my mind. I am not proud of it, but yes, I am a guilty offender of stereotyping. This I put the blame on movies and stories retold by friends that somehow never seem to remember the true origin or source of the tale. The typical young female spoken of here always seems to be attractive, slim and well-spoken. The male? Well, he just has to be white. The problem of diverse age gaps do not appear to be much of a problem in such scenarios. However, every so often, I do chance upon a couple in a relationship that seems perfectly non-superficial.

Yet, after reading Goh’s fiery article and reasonable statements and projections on the whole SPG issue, I have to admit, her logos,pathos and ethos have really opened my eyes and yes, my previous views might have been way too harsh and one-sided. This is to you, Zarelda Marie Goh, and I can say – I have some reflecting to work on.

“So if the SPG term is obsolete, what do you call someone who dates a white guy? What about her name?”